You can and will make the changes you need to make–and it can be easier than you think. As a life coach, there is one thing I know for sure: success is relative. Everything is relative. We all have different rules and meaning for feeling particular ways. We must know what our definitions of success are, and we must know key behaviors and points of focus to avoid. Here is what to let go of if you want to feel better, look better and have a more successful life (in all areas).
1. Let go of the need to be “right” and get perspective.
I see over and over that the need to be right often destroys relationships and happiness. Everyone has a perspective. You will be surprised that a little validation of someone’s feelings and point of view will take you a long way. You will feel more supported, loved and have an easier flow in your relationships if you simply let go of the need to be right all the time.
2. Let go of routine and bring in variety.
Believe it or not, one common pattern that holds people back is routine. Building good habits can be very productive. But in life, nothing is constant. Nothing is permanent. You must be able to move and go with the flow. Build that muscle. It will make you stronger. The more you get used to variety and become more agile in your nature, the more you can move with the challenges of life. Trust me, they will come. Let go of the need to do the same routine and change it up.
3. Let go of anger and move through it.
We all pretty much know this one. Anger leads to illness and it destroys lives. But anger has a million different faces. Anger creates separation between you and others. It also creates separation within yourself. I know how anger feels and it is not easy to switch off. You can’t fight anger. You have to dance with it. You have to face it and work with it. Anger can be hidden and show up as passive aggressive behavior, and it can also come out as rage. One simple rule when it comes to letting go of anger: When you experience anger, face it and, let it show you what the real message is. There is something there. You may not want to see it, but it is a process of awareness and when you move through it, the reward is worth it!
4. Let go of that heavy baggage and embrace the present moment.
We only really have what is in front of us now. The funny thing is that we are pretty much always playing this movie in our minds that has nothing to do with the moment we are in. We are remembering past memories, fears, creating stories that haven’t even happened yet, and we are somewhere else in our minds most of the time. You can spend your whole life trying to get rid of baggage. Or, you can simply bring it back to the moment, every moment. It’s as simple as that. Focus on what is in front of you–what is really happening and what you really want in this moment. Right now.
5. Let go of resistance and focus on what you want.
Actually, the reality is that there is no way to eliminate stress. Stress will always be here. Everyone will experience stress. The whole world is trying to figure out how to eliminate it and it is a part of life! What I really am suggesting here is similar to my point above about baggage. Let go of that need to hold on to all the “stuff.” I coach my clients who are under major life stress to first accept, then to strategize and then to take action. The main thing to let go of here is resistance that you are creating against the thing that you don’t want. When you experience stress—any stress—what that is really telling you is that you want to move against or away from something. So start to focus on what you do want. Bring in the details, the feelings and what you would do if you got it. Change focus. If you are stressed about a relationship or a deadline at work, ask yourself what you do want and immediately focus on that. We are all currently in a process. Embrace it. It is for your highest good. Anything you face— the good, the bad and the ugly are teaching you to be a better, more loving and ultimately more accepting person. One last point: There is nothing wrong with you. Think about all the lessons you have learned in your life. Some were hard, some came easy and some will take your whole life to learn. Let go of the judgments you place on other people as they are learning these life lessons—and most importantly the judgment you place on yourself. I help my coaching clients overcome major life challenges and almost always end up coming back to self-acceptance, self-love and self-connection. If you are reading this, you are on the right track. Keep going and let me know how it goes.
